€70m for a crocked Brazilian
This was the week in which Valencia defender Miguel was caught mocking his manager, Manchester City flop Robinho marked his return to Santos with a special goal, AC Milan hit back at claims they sold €70 million worth of crocked Kaka to Real Madrid and Japan encouraged their fans to boo the team.
Galliani laughs off Kaka claims
Kaka's groin was back in the news this week after AC Milan vice-president Adriano Galliani laughed off reports in the Spanish press that Real Madrid were sold a "broken player" when the they paid a world record transfer fee for the Brazilian in the summer.
Real Madrid mouthpiece Marca claimed that Kaka arrived at the Santiago Bernabeu with a chronic hernia injury and that Los Blancos were effectively swindled out of €68.5 million.
Now far be it from us to suggest that the Madrid-based newspaper was trying to blame Kaka's indifferent form this season on outside forces, but as Galliani correctly pointed out: "Last season Kaka played 31 games in the Italian league and was a virtual ever-present. I don't like the suggestion that we gave Real Madrid an injured player. It's absurd."
Kaka, who returned from injury to score in the 3-0 win over Espanyol on Saturday, declared himself "totally cured".
Valencia's Miguel caught mocking manager
Out of favour Valencia defender Miguel won't be back in favour at the Estadio Mestalla anytime soon after the Portugal international was caught on camera mocking manager Unai Emery during Los Che's 2-0 win over Valladolid.
As Emery stalked the touchline clapping enthusiastically in his trademark, hyperactive style Miguel nudged his team-mates and performed a passable impression of the animated coach, just as the Spanish TV cameras were focused on the dugout.
Miguel's loss of form and the impressive performances of Spanish full-back Bruno, his replacement, are now the least of his worries; Spanish newspaper Marca reported that Miguel's foolish antics mean he will be shown the door in the summer.
Valencia team-mates Alejandro Dominguez and Nikola Zigic could also find themselves in hot water for enjoying Miguel's mockery so much.
Japan urges fans to boo own team
The president of the Japanese FA, Motoaki Inukai, has called upon the disgruntled fans of the national team to continue jeering the players in the hope of toughening them up before this year's World Cup.
The Blue Samurai were booed from the pitch following a goalless draw with Venezuela and again after a 0-0 home draw with China in the East Asian championship, piling more pressure on coach Takeshi Okada.
Anybody who has seen a Japanese game show, such as Takeshi's Castle, will know that the nation is not adverse to meting out a bit of suffering for the sake of entertainment and it seems football is no different.
"I want the supporters to boo their hearts out. It's good for the players," Inukai said. "We have problems - 180 minutes without a goal. If we play like that at the World Cup we don't stand a chance."
Robinho shows City what they're missing
Somewhere deep within the bowels of Eastlands the man who brokered Robinho's £32.5 million transfer to Manchester City is crying into his feijoada.
The Premier League flop was loaned to boyhood club Santos last week and Robinho marked his return to Brazil (in a helicopter, alongside Pele) with a cheeky back-heeled winner against Sao Paulo that City fans could only dream of seeing.
It was the kind of goal that persuaded City to pay a British record transfer fee to Real Madrid in 2008 and probably graced the promotional videos with which his agents seduced City owner Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan.
Flicks, tricks and jaw-dropping skills are what City expected Robinho to deliver; one goal in 12 games (in the FA Cup against Scunthorpe) is what they got this season. But one game back in Brazil and the 26-year-old is already dazzling.
Blatter: Some fans might applaud Terry
FIFA President Sepp Blatter is renowned for his almost unequalled ability to put his foot in his mouth, even when discussing the most mundane topics, and he didn't disappoint the assembled hacks when he passed comment on John Terry's alleged affair.
Blatter said he was surprised that Terry had been sacked as England captain and added: "Listen, this is a special approach in the Anglo-Saxon countries. If this had happened in let's say Latin countries then I think he would have been applauded."
The FIFA chief pulled of double coup with this comment; stereotyping the population of entire nations as philanderers and making light of Terry's alleged extra-marital affair on the very same day that the Chelsea skipper flew out to Dubai to try and work things out with his wife, Toni.
Still, it's all that can be expected from the man who also suggested female footballers should wear skimpier outfits to boost the popularity of the women's game.
VT of the week
David Beckham, Xabi Alonso, Nayim et al, you have all been well and truly beaten. Al-Ahli Jeddah captain Mohammad Massad has been crowned the king of the long-range goal after scoring from 100-yards out this week.
Up against Hajer Club in the Crown Prince Cup in Saudi Arabia, Massad proved that defenders can also score spectacular goals from distance. And thanks to our friends at 101goals you can watch Massad's 100-yard goal here.
Best of the rest: