Sylvain Distin admits he keeps having flashbacks after his wayward back-pass allowed Liverpool to turn Saturday's FA Cup semi-final on its head against Everton.
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The Toffees were relatively untroubled as they led their Merseyside rivals 1-0 at Wembley heading into the 62nd minute. However, Distin left his pass to goalkeeper Tim Howard short, and Luis Suarez punished him en route to a 2-1 victory for the Reds.
Liverpool had created the odd chance prior to Distin's error, notably when Andy Carroll headed wide at the back post, but they clearly took control after the defender's mistake. Distin walked towards the Everton fans to apologise at full-time, and he admits he cannot get the moment out of his head.
"I think it changed the game, so I have to accept it," Distin acknowledged. "I don't need anyone to tell me what I do right or what I do wrong because I'm mature enough to know what I do right and wrong.
"That's clearly a bad mistake from me and I have to accept it, no matter the consequences. And, for me, the consequences are not going to the final, which is very disappointing.
"I can be only disappointed with myself. Right now, I need to keep my head straight. I'm not in a good place right now. I know I cost a lot of people the final and it's tough to accept.
"Personally, I just want a few days to put that behind me and re-focus. That's going to be very important. But, right now, I have to admit it is difficult because I realise where we could've been and I feel responsible for that because we are not there.
"At the moment, I don't think too much about tomorrow. I just keep having flashbacks about this bad decision from me."
Everton currently sit above Liverpool in the Premier League and can finish the season as Merseyside's top club if they win their remaining games, but Distin admits that is little consolation.
"No matter where we finish at the end of the season, we missed a final," he said. "So, that won't make me feel better, no."
Liverpool now await the winners of Tottenham and Chelsea in the 2012 FA Cup final, which takes place on May 5.