What's faster than the "Route One" approach in football? Why, the "Route Zero" approach of course, wherein a given team simply go all out and take an instant pot-shot at goal directly from kick-off, usually resulting in the concession of a slightly embarrassing goal-kick/throw-in.
There are several examples of the direct approach paying off, with several teams scoring in under 10 seconds after catching the opposing keeper unaware directly from the first whistle.
THE TOE POKE: FOOTBALL FUNNIES
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However, we think St Pauli's reserve...