Consider this your warning. What you're about to see is so harrowing that it may affect your sleep patterns for months to come.
The latest edition of German football magazine 11 Freunde contains a preview of the forthcoming Bundesliga season -- and the cover is truly terrifying.
Specifically, it features the mash-up that nobody asked for and none of us ever needed to see: German coaches and Baywatch.
The team at 11 Freunde have taken an image of the Baywatch team, clad in the famous red swimsuits...
Bayern Munich legend Miroslav Klose insists that preseason tours to distant destinations are more than a promotional exercise, and should be no barrier to success in the modern game.
The top scorer of all time in World Cup finals believes there is much to be gained through team bonding, and suggests that past experience proves that matches on the other side of the world should not harm performance levels.
His comments come as Bayern hit back at Bundesliga rivals RB Leipzig who said they preferred...
Bayern Munich CEO Karl-Heinz Rummenigge has called RB Leipzig coach Ralph Hasenhuttl's comments about the Bundesliga champions' summer tour of Asia "cynical and divisive."
Bayern have just returned from a 12-day tour of China and Singapore, playing four games against Arsenal, AC Milan, Chelsea and Inter Milan.
Leipzig, meanwhile, went to Austria as part of their preseason preparations and Hasenhuttl said: "I'm very grateful we are in Austria and not doing marketing in Asia."
Reacting to the former...
Shanghai SIPG technical director Mads Davidsen says Bayern Munich veterans Arjen Robben and Franck Ribery are too old for the Chinese Super League.
Davidsen, 34, originally worked as Sven Goran Eriksson's assistant during the ex-England manager's time in charge of the Chinese club, before starting his new role in which he appointed former Chelsea and Spurs boss Andre Villas-Boas as coach.
He told Sport Bild that Bayern's experienced wingers no longer fit the profile for Chinese Super League clubs...