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Feyenoord beat PSV by millimetres

Toe Poke
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 By Chris Wright

Zenit sign Bart Simpson

Kudos must go to Zenit Saint Petersburg for somehow managing to eclipse Manchester United's imminent acquisition of Radamel Falcao by pulling off the highest-profile transfer deadline day signing in the history of the game.

We're not sure how he passed a medical, but Zenit have snapped up 10-year-old wonderkid Bart Simpson!

"FC Zenit and 20th Century Fox have reached an agreement regarding Bart Simpson's transfer to the Blue-White-Sky Blues!" the club announced via their official website on Monday.

"The latest addition to the team has already arrived in St. Petersburg, passed his physical, signed his contract and had his first training session this morning with the rest of the team.

"Bartholomew Jo Jo (Bart) Simpson first appeared onscreen in 1987 and because of this he has decided to take 87 as his number.

"Andre Villas-Boas immediately invited the newcomer to train with the team. Everyone immediately took to Bart and gave him a traditional welcoming."

Madness!

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