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Sir Alex Ferguson the poet

The Toe Poke
 By Chris Wright

Hyde FC find clever way to keep trialists secret

Acting under strict instructions from the club's top brass to keep the identities of their various trialists under wraps for fear of alerting rivals to their availability, the official Twitter account of non-league Hyde FC faced a bit of a problem when it came to live-tweeting a recent preseason friendly against Altrincham.

As a solution, Hyde simply swapped out the players' names for the names of a who's who of left-wing revolutionaries and politicians.

This meant that "Fidel Castro," "Karl Marx" and "Leon Trotsky" started the game while "Gandhi," "Che Guevara" and "Tony Blair" had to make do with a place on the bench.

As for the live-tweeting, what followed was an inspired cavalcade of left-wing puns, with Castro "dictating play," Friedrich Engels coming on to provide "much needed support for Marx" and Blair continually "drifting out to the right" as Hyde went on to win 5-4 on penalties.

We feel it's only fair to award them top Marx for their endeavours.