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Grant Holt: The Wrestler

Toe Poke
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 By Chris Wright

Gustavo Ramirez quick off the mark

Fancying his chances against opponents Necaxa from kickoff, Mineros striker Gustavo Ramirez duly went and scored the fastest goal in the history of Mexican football when he stepped up and walloped on in from the half-way line with just a shade over three seconds on the clock.

The goal was originally wrongly clocked at seven seconds, but the Mexican second division's official website did a bit of in-depth analysis and duly came to the conclusion that Ramirez's 55-yard super strike was indeed the fastest goal scored in any of the Mexican leagues, ever!

Let that be a lesson to all you budding footballers out there: passing is now completely redundant.