STOP EVERYTHING. Martin Demichelis has rocked the world of football today by revealing that he has severed all ties with his most long-serving and trusted companion: his ponytail.
'Tis a truly bleak day.
Keeping a promise to his friend, Argentinian journalist Martin Arevalo, the Manchester City defender took an industrial strimmer to his luxurious mane in order to celebrate his inclusion in Argentina coach Alejandro Sabella's World Cup squad.
Indeed, Demichelis' wife Eva posted a photo of the hairy aftermath on her Twitter account as if to mock us in our darkest hour.
So long, old friend. You shall be missed.