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Blog - The Toe Poke

King Kazu keeps on going

The Toe Poke
 By Chris Wright

Mexican paper fools Queretaro fans with hoax Ronaldinho story

Queretaro shocked the masses by signing Brazilian star Ronaldinho midway through the season.
Ronaldinho would surely have loved to have lived in a house like that.

What with Dec. 28 being the Spanish equivalent of April Fool's Day, one Mexican newspaper decided to get in on the act by running with a phoney story about Liga MX's biggest star attraction, Ronaldinho.

Ronaldinho has reportedly gone AWOL from his club, Queretaro, over the Christmas period, with rumours circulating that the famously hedonistic Brazilian forward had returned to his homeland in order to ring in the New Year in style.

With that tittle-tattle in mind, Mexican paper Record ran with a...

 By Chris Wright

Brazil star Neymar stars in strange new Japanese TV advert

Neymar is a valuable asset around the world.

Slightly less unfathomable than Cristiano Ronaldo's bizarre "facial fitness" commercial which aired on Japanese television last year, Neymar has followed suit by starring in a weird and wonderful new advert for an "oily skin shampoo" brand.

The trailer features the man himself, scalp suitably oiled, preening and pouting down the camera while two Gerard Pique lookalikes prance and writhe around behind him in a fairly unsettling manner.

Indeed, Neymar isn't the only Barcelona star to have fronted...

 By Chris Wright

Lineker pulls in Pele, Maradona and Mourinho for best man's speech

Being the good sort he is, Gary Lineker went above and beyond the call of duty in his efforts to cobble together a best man's speech ahead of the wedding of one of his good friends, businessman Richard King.

Blowing pretty much every other previous best man's speech out of the water, the former England striker turned Match of the Day host called in a glut of favours from a whole constellation of famous stars (and Piers Morgan) to wish the groom and his lovely wife well on their big day.


 By Chris Wright

Top 10: Christmas presents for footballers

Olivier Giroud's hair has been centre of attention in 2014.

With the big day almost here and the turkey and tinsel ready to go, Toe Poke's thoughts have naturally turned to those less fortunate than us: our footballing friends, some of whom are allowed but one day of festive R&R before having to report back for Boxing Day fixtures/post-blowout training, etc.

Here we imagine the super special presents that these 10 football folks may be hoping to unwrap this Christmas morning.

Olivier Giroud: A copy of "The Fifth Element" on DVD, just so he gets a flavour...

 By Chris Wright

Dani Alves dresses up as Santa ... again

With the big day now less than 48 hours away, Dani Alves has treated his legions of Instagram followers to a special festive treat.

The Barcelona man fetched his Santa Claus suit from the back of the wardrobe, adopted a suitably jolly demeanour and then wished his 3.5 million fans a very merry Christmas.

 By Chris Wright

'Boring' James Milner opens his Christmas presents

With Aleksandar Kolarov steadfastly refusing to "sing" his annual Christmas carol this year (for now, at least!), Man City have had to find new and entertaining ways to fill their YouTube Advent calendar.

Stepping forward is James Milner, who has enthralled us all by allowing the cameras into his home to watch him unwrap his presents.

Playing on the whole "Boring Milner" thing, the City man keeps an impressively straight face as he deadpans his way through the ups and downs -- ranging from unwrapping...