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Sir Alex joins LinkedIn

The Toe Poke
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 By Chris Wright

Man United ace Memphis Depay turns up to Netherlands duty in style

Memphis Depay reported for international duty with Netherlands on Monday looking like something straight out of a spaghetti western -- albeit a high plains drifter with incredibly expensive taste.

Appearing to have dipped into Clint Eastwood's wardrobe before leaving the house, all Memphis was missing was a sun-scorched squint, a cigarillo and his trusty horse.

Yeehaw...

 By Chris Wright

Manchester United star Wayne Rooney leaves Swansea mascot stunned

Stationed in the tunnel before kick-off ahead of their 2-1 win over Manchester United, Swansea's mascot appeared to be solely concerned with preparing himself for his prematch duties.

That was right up until the moment the youngster noticed just who was stood directly across the corridor from him.

In fact, his reaction on realising he was mere feet from United captain Wayne Rooney definitely falls into the "priceless" category.

Aww. How lovely to see some genuine wide-eyed wonder in this cynical...

 By Chris Wright

Everton fans serenade Chelsea target John Stones with Beatles chant

With his transfer saga very much looking as though it's going to rumble on till deadline day, it's probably safe to say that most Everton fans have had their fill of hearing about Chelsea's protracted pursuit of John Stones.

Indeed, the Toffees faithful sent a musical message out to the Chelsea top brass before Saturday's game against Tottenham at White Hart Lane, with the travelling hordes adopting a Beatles classic to send a musical message to Roman Abramovich.

However, thanks to a bit of cunning...

 By Chris Wright

Brisbane Roar striker helps himself to eight goals

Jamie Maclaren made an early impression with the Brisbane Roar with his eight-goal haul.

As they continue to limber up for the new A-League campaign, the Brisbane Roar found themselves pitted against Gold Coast All-Stars in a preseason friendly fixture on Sunday.

To call it a walkover would be something of an understatement.

Indeed, the Roar emerged comprehensive victors on the day with striker Jamie Maclaren helping himself to an impressive eight-goal haul in a 10-0 win for his side.

Maclaren joined the Roar only a couple of months ago from Perth Glory but made a strong case to slip...

ESPN FC  By ESPN staff

Mitrovic sent off at Newcastle vs. Arsenal - where was his control?

Newcastle United striker Aleksandar Mitrovic lost control and was sent off just 15 minutes into his side's match at home to Arsenal on Saturday afternoon.

And when this picture circulated of a man seemingly trying to control the players on the pitch, Mitrovic had a ready-made excuse why he couldn't keep his cool.

Luckily, the mystery finally unravelled a little later when it emerged...

 By Chris Wright

Liverpool flop Mario Balotelli is confident but fragile, autograph says

Mario Balotelli's nightmare spell at Liverpool was cut short this week when he joined AC Milan on loan.

As a marker of just how much scrutiny Mario Balotelli's return to Milan is being put under, Italian website Sportmediaset have employed the services of a professional calligrapher to examine the striker's autograph.

Indeed, Sportmediaset have posted a video of Candida Livatino's expert analysis and apparently, Balotelli's squiggle reveals he is a "confident but fragile" young man.

Who'd have thought?

"The signature of Mario Balotelli is very interesting and it says a lot about him," Livatino claims.

"The...