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Blog - The Toe Poke

 By Chris Wright

Manchester United's Ashley Young explains infamous bird video

Ashley Young's man of the match performance in the Manchester derby marks a complete turnaround from the start of the season where it seemed the winger would struggle for first team opportunities under Louis van Gaal.

It's the story -- or conspiracy theory, depending on your viewpoint -- that refuses to go away. Did a bird really poo in Ashley Young's mouth during Manchester United's game against Swansea on the opening day of the 2014-15 season?

After months of keeping resolutely schtum over the matter, Young finally broke his silence over guano-gate two months after the incident in an emotional interview on television show "Soccer AM."

The United winger confessed to having no clue what happened on that fateful...

 By Chris Wright

'Zlatan suite' replaces presidential suite at Malmo hotel

Zlatan Ibrahimovic now has a hotel room to add to his list.

Eager not to miss the opportunity to cash in on the Swedish city's most famous son, a hotel in Malmo have formally replaced their presidential suite with what they are now calling "The Zlatan Suite."

The suitably huge 1,076 square-foot suite, which opens on May 2, takes up the entire 23rd floor of the Clarion Hotel in Malmo city centre and features a "Nordic design with portraits of Zlatan hung wall to wall" and "monstrous views" of the harbour.

Sounds positively idyllic, no?

However, be warned:...

 By Chris Wright

Ze Maria sacked as coach of Romanian side twice in one week

Ze Maria
The former Brazil international has an unwanted record in management.

Spare a thought for Ze Maria, who has recently managed the impressive feat of being sacked not once but twice by the same club within the space of a week.

Having only been in the job since late January, the former Brazil and Inter Milan full-back was fired by Romanian top-flight side Ceahlaul Piatra Neamt on April 15 after a limp run of form left the club third-bottom of Liga 1 with a six-point chasm between them and safety.

However, Ceahlaul's notorious owner, Angelo Massone, then decided to reinstate...

 By Chris Wright

The official NYCFC Frank Lampard plush doll, yours for just $20

Given his marquee signing status, it's hardly surprising that New York City FC are pumping out the official Frank Lampard merchandise ahead of his long-awaited and long-overdue arrival in US football.

However, if you're struggling to cobble together the hefty $175 required to purchase one of Lampard's replica jerseys then fear not, because there is a raft of alternative stuff to fritter your hard-earned cash away on.

Indeed, why not splash out on the new Frank Lampard plush doll -- yours for just...

 By Chris Wright

Man Utd fan gives Van Gaal expensive transfer shopping list

Angel Di Maria cost £59.1m, but that shouldn't stop United going after more.

Tuesday afternoon saw the Manchester United Foundation host their annual "Dream Day" experience at Carrington, which gives United fans with life-limiting disabilities the chance to go behind the scenes at the club and mingle with an array of their heroes.

Sensing his opportunity, one plucky young United fan sought out manager Louis van Gaal and in the midst of grabbing an autograph, slipped the United boss a summer shopping list that detailed the five players needed to fill the gaps in his side.


 By Chris Wright

Just like Bayern Munich, Pep Guardiola's trousers are on a tear

Bayern Munich may have breezed past FC Porto in the Champions League quarter-final second leg against FC Porto, but Pep Guardiola's animated instructions from the sideline caused him to rip his pants in the process.

On the night that his Bayern Munich side tore apart Porto, Pep Guardiola suffered a minor wardrobe malfunction as his trousers split during the 6-1 win Tuesday at Allianz Arena.

We've got no doubt they were an expensive pair but wonder, if Guardiola is a superstitious man, could he spend his Tuesday night with a needle and thread to repair the damage?

Pep's pants problem.

Meanwhile, after the emphatic triumph, Thomas Muller led the celebrations of Bayern players with the club's fans by grabbing a megaphone to lead...