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Blog - The Toe Poke

 By Chris Wright

Everton players tell their worst Christmas cracker jokes

As we approach Christmas, the Everton squad have donned their finest dodgy festive jumpers to reel off their favourite cracker jokes -- each more groan-inducing than the last.

TOE POKE: FOOTBALL FUNNIES

- The Wall: Newspaper's De Gea tribute
- Cheeky t-shirt: Man Utd fans poke fun at Gerrard
- Mud, glorious mud: Club World Cup farce
- Foot flap: West Brom player's gruesome injury
- Wenger is Frozen: Funny Arsenal manager parody
- Pecs appeal: Crouch copies Ronaldo
- Him again: Crouch goes crowd surfing

- World Cup bonanza: Gotze's boot sells for millions

While the likes of Leighton Baines, Steven Naismith and Roberto Martinez are all suitably appalled by the punchlines on offer, Leon Osman is in his absolute element as he bangs out zinger after dreadful zinger.


Dortmund pause play for an opponent

Do nice guys finish first? As long they're not last come May, Dortmund will probably be happy

From our friends at the Soccer Gods comes a nice story which proves that, even when you are at rock-bottom, you are can still look out for your fellow professionals. 

Despite being desperate for points to escape the relegation zone in the Bundesliga, Borussia Dortmund were quite happy to pause while Hetha Berlin's Per Ciljan fixed his footwear. 

Good on you, lads!

TOE POKE: FOOTBALL FUNNIES

- The Wall: Newspaper's De Gea tribute
- Cheeky t-shirt: Man Utd fans poke fun at Gerrard
- Mud, glorious mud: Club World Cup farce
- Foot flap: West Brom player's gruesome injury
- Wenger is Frozen: Funny Arsenal manager parody
- Pecs appeal: Crouch copies Ronaldo
- Him again: Crouch goes crowd surfing

- World Cup bonanza: Gotze's boot sells for millions

 By Chris Wright

Nottingham Forest given £250k boost from fan, but can't spend it

Fear not, Nottingham Forest can put the money to use in loan wages.

Let's start with the good news, shall we? Nottingham Forest have won a 250,000 pound transfer fund to spend in January thanks to a competition run by Sky Sports.

Yay!

The bad news: This all comes the very day after Forest were hit, along with fellow Championship sides Blackburn and Leeds, with a transfer embargo from the Football League after failing to meet Financial Fair Play targets.

Boo!

TOE POKE: FOOTBALL FUNNIES

- The Wall: Newspaper's De Gea tribute
- Cheeky t-shirt: Man Utd fans poke fun at Gerrard
- Mud, glorious mud: Club World Cup farce
- Foot flap: West Brom player's gruesome injury
- Wenger is Frozen: Funny Arsenal manager parody
- Pecs appeal: Crouch copies Ronaldo
- Him again: Crouch goes crowd surfing

- World Cup bonanza: Gotze's boot sells for millions

Forest fan Shaun Lander earned the sizable cache for his beloved side by winning Sky Bet's Transfer Fund...

Not world-class Adel Taarabt says Mario Balotelli is not world-class

Adel Taarabt and Mario Balotelli played together at AC Milan.

The adage goes that it is best not to throw stones if you live in a glass house, but Queens Park Rangers midfielder Adel Taarabt doesn't seem to care.

Indeed, Taarabt has taken a dig at Liverpool striker Mario Balotelli -- who has yet to score a Premier League goal for his new club -- saying his former AC Milan teammate is not a world-class player.

The Moroccan is the same player who spent the second half of the 2013-14 season on loan from QPR at Milan, having failed to pull up any trees in the...

 By Chris Wright

Norwegian newspaper's front page tribute to De Gea

As appears to be par for the course these days, David De Gea's immaculate performance between the sticks against Liverpool on Sunday immediately went viral.

While the Manchester United goalkeeper was singled-handedly (almost literally at times) keeping Raheem Sterling and co. at bay at Old Trafford, appreciative fans at home began dusting off their old virals and got busy posting them on social media.

However, Norwegian newspaper VG Sporten went one step further and actually committed their meme...

 By Chris Wright

Cheeky Steven Gerrard shirt on sale outside Old Trafford

With Robin van Persie back and firing and the imperious David De Gea doing his very best "You Shall Not Pass" act, Manchester United ran out comfortable 3-0 victors over old adversaries Liverpool at Old Trafford on Sunday afternoon.

TOE POKE: FOOTBALL FUNNIES

- The Wall: Newspaper's De Gea tribute
- Cheeky t-shirt: Man Utd fans poke fun at Gerrard
- Mud, glorious mud: Club World Cup farce
- Foot flap: West Brom player's gruesome injury
- Wenger is Frozen: Funny Arsenal manager parody
- Pecs appeal: Crouch copies Ronaldo
- Him again: Crouch goes crowd surfing

- World Cup bonanza: Gotze's boot sells for millions

As if the hefty defeat wasn't bad enough, the Liverpool fans in attendance were also forced to walk past stalls selling these pithy little beauties outside United's stadium -- poking fun at Stevie G's infamous slip during last season's title run-in.