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Shaolin monk toughens up Chelsea stars

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Ozil looks too cool in ice chamber

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 By Chris Wright

Cristiano Ronaldo gets locked out of hotel room in underwear in new ad

Another day, another commercial starring Cristiano Ronaldo in his underwear.

This time we see Real Madrid's finest accidentally locking himself out of his hotel room while wearing nothing but his smalls, only to be snapped by a mischievous maid.

It's good to see how fast I'm "shared" in the United States 🤣👍🏽 #RonaldoFaster

A post shared by Cristiano Ronaldo (@cristiano) on

The resulting photo then goes viral in an instant, much to the embarrassment of Ronaldo and his meticulously oiled torso.

The scrapes he gets himself into (while traipsing around in his pants). Unbelievable.

Chris covers the funny side of the game for ESPN FC in the Toe Poke blog.

 By Chris Wright

Chelsea stars toughened up by training session with Shaolin monk

As part of their preseason jaunt around Asia, Chelsea acquired the services of a Shaolin monk to help put the squad through their paces.

As such, Blues quartet Gary Cahill, Marcos Alonso, Thibaut Courtois and Willy Caballero were put through a series of gruelling drills under the instruction of their 34th-generation monk tutor.

Anybody who has seen the movie "Shaolin Soccer" will also be aware that these monks are also truly exceptional footballers, as well as world-renowned martial arts experts.

To...

 By Chris Wright

Arsenal's Mesut Ozil shows why he's such a cool customer in ice chamber

With just 15 days until the return of the Premier League, players are beginning to knuckle down and really start to fine tune their various preparations for the new season.

Mesut Ozil is one such player, with the Arsenal midfielder sharing a photo of himself shivering away in an icy cryotherapy chamber as part of his conditioning regime.

"They said 'Mesut you have to be ice-cold in front of goal'. Okay, I'll try my best," the Arsenal midfield joked, desperately trying to put a brave face on it.

Apparently...

 By Chris Wright

Zlatan Ibrahimovic compares himself to King Kong in Instagram post

Having seen his short stint with Manchester United fizzle to something of an anticlimax last season, you may be forgiven for assuming that Zlatan Ibrahimovic's confidence may have taken a knock in recent months.

Of course, nothing could be further from the truth, as the 35-year-old free agent's last few Instagram posts duly prove.

King and Kong

A post shared by IAmZlatan (@iamzlatanibrahimovic) on

Firstly he looked utterly nonplussed about being immortalised on a Swedish banknote like it was an everyday occurrence, only to follow up by assuming a state of undress...

 By Chris Wright

Viktoria Plzen install new dugouts shaped like giants cans of beer

Viktoria Plzen install new dugouts shaped like giants cans of beer
The new dugouts are perfect for a club based in the town that gave pilsner lager it's name.

Ordinarily speaking, the installation of new dugouts at a football stadium probably wouldn't be worth mentioning.

However, the new dugouts installed at Viktoria Plzen's stadium are no ordinary dugouts.

In fact, they happen to be shaped like enormous cans of beer and they are utterly glorious.

The custom made 14-seat shelters are a result of the Czech club's new commercial partnership with nearby brewery Gambrinus, with each bench styled to look like a can of their premium pilsner.

"This is a joint...

 By Chris Wright

West Ham fan's catchy song to celebrate Javier Hernandez

No sooner had Javier Hernandez signed for West Ham did the hunt begin among fans for a suitable anthem to herald their new star striker.

Thankfully, the hunt can now be called off as there's simply no way the following terrace ode to Chicharito -- sung to the tune of La Bamba -- is going to be topped before the start of the season.

We honestly don't know which element we enjoyed the most: the somewhat "creative" pronunciation of Hernandez's first name or the fact that he managed to crowbar Kelechi...