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 By Chris Wright

Stoke police troll Arsenal fan over 'missing person' Mesut Ozil

Mesut Ozil and Arsenal fell to defeat at Stoke City on Saturday.

As you're no doubt aware, Arsenal were thwarted in their annual bogey fixture once again on Saturday when they suffered a narrow defeat against Stoke City at the bet365 Stadium.

Aggrieved by the result, one irked Gooner contacted the Stoke Police constabulary on Twitter in the aftermath of the match and attempted to report the Potters' 1-0 win as a "robbery."

However, the local force were ready and waiting with a pithy jibe of their very own.

In fairness, Stoke Police did then check to see their...

ESPN FC  By ESPN staff

Zlatan Ibrahimovic video shows super Swede's remarkable recovery

Zlatan Ibrahimovic could re-sign for Manchester United soon -- and he's keen to show he's fighting fit.

The 35-year-old, who damaged knee ligaments back in April, scored 28 goals for United during a fine debut season before it was prematurely cut short following a bad injury sustained against Anderlecht in the Europa League.

United did not take up the option to trigger the second year on his deal and Zlatan became a free agent, although stuck around in Manchester to work on his rehab. 

And...

ESPN FC  By ESPN staff

Suspended Kaka finds a good spot amid the crowd to watch Orlando City

Kaka is suspended for Orlando City's clash with Columbus, so he is standing in the middle of The Wall for the match.
Steve Nicol and Alejandro Moreno debate whether Kaka deserved a red card after putting his hands on Aurélien Collin's face.

While Kaka is suspended for Saturday's game, never let it be said he doesn't support Orlando City.

The Brazilian star found a spot smack in the middle of The Wall -- Orlando's boisterous standing section -- for the match against Columbus Crew SC.

The nearby fans encouraged him to bang a drum as he cheered on his team.

Not a bad way to try to forget that he can't play -- especially when Kaka's suspension stems from the goofiest of red cards.

Follow @ESPNFC on Twitter to keep up with the latest football updates.

 By Chris Wright

Portuguese side tempt Usain Bolt to join them with beer, eggs and burgers

With his gold-studded athletics career now officially over, the world's greatest athlete Usain Bolt is weighing up his options.

It's no secret that Bolt has long harboured dreams of playing professional football, having openly touted the idea of going on trial with Manchester United on several occasions in the past.

Unfortunately a free transfer to Burton Albion fell through this week, but there are still potential suitors out there in the football world who are interested in taking the Jamaican...

 By Chris Wright

Manchester United defender Luke Shaw gives VIP tour for special fan

Luke Shaw stood in as an part-time tour guide at Old Trafford recently in order to lay on a special VIP experience for a young fan.

Amy Pustelnik, 17, is a lifelong Manchester United fan who counts Shaw as one of her favourite players. She even set up a dedicated Instagram fan account for the left-back to help support him through the broken leg he suffered last season.

On a break from college, Amy and her mum Rebecca drove from their home in Nottingham up to United's Carrington training centre...

 By Mark Lovell

Bayern Munich 'put out' Carlo Ancelotti's nasty clubhouse habit

Carlo Ancelotti
Carlo Ancelotti will have to look elsewhere to soothe his tattered nerves after being told no smoking in the clubhouse.

Bayern Munich sporting director Hasan Salihamidzic has not yet been in his new role for three weeks, but he is already laying down the law by banning coach Carlo Ancelotti from smoking inside clubrooms.

Salihamidzic, 40, was brought in to help turn Bayern's form around following an unprecedented run of five defeats in six preseason games.

The former Bayern and Juventus midfielder called his early efforts "minor details," but this one effort is clearly directed right at manager Carlo Ancelotti.

"I...