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Blog - The Toe Poke

Skrtel's stapled head wound

The Toe Poke
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 By Chris Wright

Martin Skrtel shows off his stapled head wound

The observant among you may have noticed that when Liverpool defender Martin Skrtel took to the sky to head home his side's 97th-minute equaliser against Arsenal on Sunday evening, he did so sporting a rather large black bandage around his cranium.

This was because the Slovakian centre-back had his head accidentally scrawled and bloodied by Olivier Giroud's studs which caused the game to be delayed for a fair old while shortly after the restart.

TOE POKE: FOOTBALL FUNNIES

- The Wall: Newspaper's De Gea tribute
- Cheeky t-shirt: Man Utd fans poke fun at Gerrard
- Mud, glorious mud: Club World Cup farce
- Foot flap: West Brom player's gruesome injury
- Wenger is Frozen: Funny Arsenal manager parody
- Pecs appeal: Crouch copies Ronaldo
- Him again: Crouch goes crowd surfing

- World Cup bonanza: Gotze's boot sells for millions

Skrtel received a temporary patch-up and duly played...

 By Chris Wright

Ecuadorian player sent-off for horror lunge on his little brother

Over in Ecuador, Emelec clinched their second successive Primera A title on Sunday evening with a 4-1 victory over SC Barcelona in the second instalment of the two-legged play-off final between the sides.

With the first game finishing 1-1 on Thursday, Emelec cruised it on their home turf, winning 3-0 largely thanks to a brace from Miller Bolanos -- though the 24-year-old attacking midfielder was fairly lucky to still be on the pitch by the time he lumped home his first goal in the 81st minute.

TOE POKE: FOOTBALL FUNNIES

- The Wall: Newspaper's De Gea tribute
- Cheeky t-shirt: Man Utd fans poke fun at Gerrard
- Mud, glorious mud: Club World Cup farce
- Foot flap: West Brom player's gruesome injury
- Wenger is Frozen: Funny Arsenal manager parody
- Pecs appeal: Crouch copies Ronaldo
- Him again: Crouch goes crowd surfing

- World Cup bonanza: Gotze's boot sells for millions

You...

 By Chris Wright

Cristiano Ronaldo's incredible statue of himself looks rather odd

With a Cristiano Ronaldo-themed museum already up and running in the town, the good people of Madeira have found one more way to pay homage to their most famous son, with a new statue of the Real Madrid superstar unveiled on the Portuguese island over the weekend.

TOE POKE: FOOTBALL FUNNIES

- The Wall: Newspaper's De Gea tribute
- Cheeky t-shirt: Man Utd fans poke fun at Gerrard
- Mud, glorious mud: Club World Cup farce
- Foot flap: West Brom player's gruesome injury
- Wenger is Frozen: Funny Arsenal manager parody
- Pecs appeal: Crouch copies Ronaldo
- Him again: Crouch goes crowd surfing

- World Cup bonanza: Gotze's boot sells for millions

What's more, the man himself flew in to attend the grand unveiling ceremony in his hometown of Funchal, with the 10-foot bronze sculpture capturing Ronaldo in all his glory: splay-legged and ready to send a trademark long-range free-kick...

 By Chris Wright

Grimsby produce brilliant parody of John Lewis Christmas advert

Grimsby's Lenell John-Lewis shares his name with the UK high street department store.

No sooner had this year's John Lewis Christmas advert hit television screens than the internet was awash with parodies of the tale of the little boy and his beloved penguin pal.

TOE POKE: FOOTBALL FUNNIES

- The Wall: Newspaper's De Gea tribute
- Cheeky t-shirt: Man Utd fans poke fun at Gerrard
- Mud, glorious mud: Club World Cup farce
- Foot flap: West Brom player's gruesome injury
- Wenger is Frozen: Funny Arsenal manager parody
- Pecs appeal: Crouch copies Ronaldo
- Him again: Crouch goes crowd surfing

- World Cup bonanza: Gotze's boot sells for millions

Admittedly they're a little late on the uptake, but Grimsby Town have weighed in with an absolute corker of a spoof -- with the Vanarama Conference side utilising star winger Lenell John-Lewis (who is regularly the subject of "his name is a shop" chants from fans) in a scene-stealing cameo role.

The short sketch sees an...

Luis Suarez scores first league goal for Barcelona, celebrates with bite?

Oh dear. It was only a matter of time before Luis Suarez got back on the bite-wagon. Saturday saw him net his first league goal for his new club, Barcelona, against lowly Cordoba, but did he get carried away?

Well, no, he didn't, but the picture below sure looks like he celebrated his maiden strike by taking a chunk out of teammate Pedro's shoulder!

It's all in good fun, isn't it?!

 By Chris Wright

BBC Sport commentator turns Hull City match preview into work of art

How to make sure people read your Hull preview...

Faced with the prospect of hammering out a match preview for Saturday afternoon's fairly nondescript Premier League fixture between Hull and Swansea City, BBC commentator Alistair Mann decided to jazz things up a bit.

Mann cobbled together a wonderfully impressive 30-line poem to set the scene for the game at the KC Stadium.

Why, it even rhymes and everything! Here's Mann's masterful work in full:

"Back in April, all was well, the Tigers roar was loud,

The Swans they left defeated, the home fans'...