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Real Madrid get their own plane

Toe Poke
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Video: Union striker Gaston Cellerino sent-off, Kung Fu kicks Wanderers 'keeper in sternum to celebrate!

After picking up a second yellow card for general ne'er-do-welledry, Union La Calera forward Gaston Cellerino gave Santiago Wanderers' keeper Mauricio Viana a fairly innocuous shove on his way to the tunnel only for the goalie to collapse to the ground like he'd been shot in the kneecaps.

After being crowded by Wanderers players, Cellerino's blood began to boil and the striker exacted his revenge on Viana for such egregious play-acting by bounding into the air and delivering a vicious kung-fu kick straight to his sternum...

Now that's some Grade A on-pitch violence! Not like the ridiculously namby-pamby forehead-nuzzling we're used to tut-tutting over here on a weekly basis.

If you're going to do it, do it properly and make sure you leave stud marks in some guy's lungs.