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Blog - Kicking and Screaming

David Hirshey's Most Disappointing Premier League XI for 2014-15

The ESPN FC panel share their thoughts about the Premier League's most disappointing XI according to ESPN FC's David Hirshey.
Who stayed up? Who's heading to the Championship? Who will be playing in Europe next season? We have everything you may have missed from the last Sunday in the Premier League right here.

Sometimes a man has to honor his past, even if it includes nary a league title since 2004. He needs to look closely at the events that helped forge him, the people who led him to his current state of underachieving acceptance.

It is in this spirit of remembrance that I honor the seminal character in the creation of this annual list and present this year's Fernando Torres Most Disappointing XI of the 2014-15 Premier League season.

MostDisappointingXIHirshey
Here is David Hirshey's full XI. What do you think?

GK: Tim Krul, Newcastle United

Why Expectations Were High:...

David Hirshey's Best Premier League XI for the 2014-15 season

The ESPN FC crew discuss the Premier League team of the year.
Who stayed up? Who's heading to the Championship? Who will be playing in Europe next season? We have everything you may have missed from the last Sunday in the Premier League right here.

I could have made this so easy; just copy Chelsea's roster and call it my Premier League Best XI for 2014-15. Ok, I might have knocked out a couple of the lesser players like Ruben Loftus-Cheek and that guy in a mask whose best pass of 2015 earned him a one-game suspension, but the real reason I decided not to was that I didn't want to ape the Professional Football Association -- they named practically every member of the title-winning squad, except for Jose Mourinho's personal meditation swami.

So...

Man United's sudden swoon opens the Champions League door for Liverpool

ESPN FC's Steve Nicol does not feel Liverpool will catch Manchester United, despite Louis van Gaal's side's poor form of late.

Well, thank God that's over, and by "that," I mean the worldwide conspiracy to stop Chelsea from Mayweathering us to death by boredom. Now that they have mercifully wrapped up this season's Premier League title, we get to enjoy three blissfully Mourinho-bleating-free weeks followed by the only game that matters anyway: the FA Cup final.

In the interim, the David Moyes imposter with the Dutch accent is trying desperately to keep Brendan Rodgers employed as United try to hand the final Champions...

Arsenal overcome Wembley nerves to set up FA Cup final with Aston Villa

A fumble from Reading goalkeeper Adam Federici in extra time handed holders Arsenal a 2-1 victory and a place in the FA Cup final.

It's important for men of a certain age to get their rest, and now Steven Gerrard can spend his 35th birthday relaxing with the missus and the kids. He can even take them to Wembley and have a perfectly nice afternoon where nobody will care if he moves a little too slowly. There will be no anxiety about slipping on the grass or having to exhort his teammates with one of his Churchillian "We go again" orations. And best of all, he won't have to worry about his birthday being ruined by Arsenal.

...

Marouane Fellaini takes the spotlight as Man United renaissance continues

It was a big weekend in the Premier League: Louis van Gaal and Manchester United took another step closer to a top-four finish; a masked Cesc Fabregas lifted Chelsea at Loftus Road; Tim Sherwood was victorious against his former team; and much more.

Lest we forget, it was less than a year ago that the Old Trafford faithful compared Marouane Fellaini to one of those fun things you put on your head when you're drunk at a party. "The Lampshade," they called him, and it wasn't just because his luxuriant Bel-fro might be mistaken for one. They also considered him about as useful as an inverted umbrella during a Manchester rainstorm.

So unless your name is David Moyes, you have to be astonished that the gangly Belgian with the Velcro chest control...

Steven Gerrard shows why he's no longer 'Captain Fantastic' for Liverpool

The ESPN FC panel talk managerial tactics and debate whether or not Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal got the better of Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers.
The ESPN FC panel discuss Steven Gerrard's straight red card and how it will reflect upon his legacy.
ESPN FC's Craig Burley breaks down Juan Mata's brace, Steven Gerrard's red card, Wayne Rooney's missed penalty and more in Manchester United's 2-1 win over Liverpool at Anfield.

Oh Brendan, you big softie. Haven't you learned after 34 months inside the seething cauldron of Anfield that El Clasico del Norte between Liverpool and Manchester United is no place for sentimentality? Were you mesmerized by the giant self-portrait in your house when your captain and former useful player, Steven Gerrard, proclaimed that the rivalry transcends even Barcelona and Real Madrid?

And if you judge it by the number of people watching, at least Stevie G. got that right. Sunday's latest...