Toe Poke Daily: How not to take a Panenka penalty (don't do it with Ibrahimovic watching, for a start)
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Colchester United of League Two sent Tottenham tumbling out of the Carabao Cup on Tuesday evening after their third-round tie went to penalties (stream the replay on ESPN+ in the U.S.).
But this historic giant-killing almost never happened. The U's almost made a mess of the shootout when Jevani Brown stepped up and attempted to fox goalkeeper Paulo Gazzaniga with an ill-advised Panenka.
Sadly it didn't go to plan for Brown, who under-cooked his dink and thus gave Gazzaniga more than enough time to dive, get back to his feet and impudently punch the floating ball to safety.
Of course, blushes were ultimately spared, but Brown came perilously close to being saddled with swift and immediate comeuppance.
The Panenka is a curious discipline, with the heavily unstable ratio between risk, reward and ridicule barely making them worth anybody's while. After all, there is only one Sergio Ramos.
But if you must attempt them under immense pressure, we strongly recommend you read through our cautionary (though not entirely foolproof) guide.
1. Don't forget to hit the target
Is there a better penalty fail than a botched Panenka? Luka Zahovic will not try this again for a while. pic.twitter.com/Qcpxuh2ogA— Richard Wilson (@timomouse) August 18, 2019
This really should be considered the absolute basic requirement for all penalty takers, but especially if you are going for the chipped finish.
2. Don't get distracted
The wily goalkeeper might try to distract you with all manner of exotic dances and rythmic gyrations (at 00:30). Stay focused.
3. Don't make it too obvious
Epic moment last night in Romania. 96th minute. Newly promoted Juventus have a chance to get a point vs Steaua. Then this happens.via: Dolce pic.twitter.com/4COjNPtVdP— Emanuel Roşu (@Emishor) August 20, 2017
Try not to make the fact that you're preparing to try a Panenka glaringly obvious to everybody in the stadium from the moment you start your run-up.
4. Don't overdo it on the backspin
Remember to strike the ball with enough power to actually reach the goal line.
5. Don't fall over
❌PENALTY MISS!— Sky Sports Football (@SkyFootball) March 13, 2019
🙊Bersant Celina fluffs his lines in spectacular style. pic.twitter.com/fkXSRrJhJ4
It's crucial that you remain in an upright position while executing your Panenka. Failure to do so could be disastrous.
6. Don't be a goalkeeper
Under no circumstances should anyone wearing big gloves attempt to score a Panenka. Nothing good can ever come of it (at 1:00 mark).
7. Don't attempt one when Ibra is watching you
Perhaps most important of all, don't make the mistake of attempting a Panenka while Zlatan Ibrahimovic is peering menacingly over your shoulder.
Paul Pogba debuts latest 'Hot' new hairstyle
It's been a while, but Paul Pogba has unveiled a fresh new haircut for the autumnal season.
Indeed, the midfielder revealed his new Manchester United-themed dye job with a suitably flashy Instagram post, complete with animated filter and banging soundtrack.
The tune is actually "Hot" by Young Thug ft. Gunna, which is exactly how that haircut will look while United are struggling to overcome Rochdale in the Carabao Cup on Wednesday (stream live on ESPN+ in the U.S.).
Andy Ruiz muscles his way into Chivas locker room
World heavyweight champion Andy Ruiz Jr. was able to realise another lifelong dream recently when he watched his beloved Chivas Guadalajara play.
The Mexican-American boxer has long been a fan of the Liga MX side and was guest of honour on Tuesday as his side welcomed Pachuca to the Akron Stadium.
Sadly, Chivas fell to a 4-2 home defeat but that didn't stop Ruiz from making the most of his day, which included a special trip down into the dressing room to meet the squad.
The 30-year-old was also given a VIP tour of the stadium before taking his place in the stands, where he took countless selfies with fellow supporters.
Ruiz currently holds the WBA (Super), IBF, WBO and IBO heavyweight titles after famously knocking out Anthony Joshua at Madison Square Garden back in June.
He is currently in training for the rematch, which is scheduled to take place in Saudi Arabia on Dec. 7.